Why? Just Why?

You know, it really feels as if any small victory has to be immediately undermined by something awful happening.  During Toby’s nap, I got to watch some Foyle’s War (and there was all this antisemitic crap in it so it was nice to see the Nazi sympathizers get carted off at the end, but that is neither here nor there) and then, after feeling like I had finally gotten something for myself and was able to regroup, started reading The No-Cry Potty Training Solution, getting to page 45 before Toby came down the stairs wanting to watch “Ralphie” (Christmas Story).  Impressed by the book’s insistence that this learning process can be fun, I was all patience and took Toby into the bathroom and had him show me the steps.  At first, he was pretty resistant.  But I just hugged him and distracted him with funny faces and eventually got him to go through all the steps, except for the actual peeing or pooping.  At this stage, I just want him to have good associations with this process, forgetting whatever happened at the old Montessori school and any freakouts or bad things that he’s picked up at home.  When I’m patient, which is practically never, I’m a pretty decent mom.

Proud of myself that we had both managed a potty “practice” with no tears or anger on either side, I came downstairs only to find a message that my car basically needs a new transmission and engine, which means investing in it a lot more than it’s worth.  We can’t afford a new car — we’re still paying for this lemon.  And I’d already been lamenting that the savings account that I’d been building up for the last three months to a whopping nine hundred dollars was draining fast because of Christmas.  There is simply no way we can afford to repair the car.  I have no idea what to do.  I do know that Toby is due back at school on the 3rd and I’m due back for a meeting on the 5th, then classes start the following Monday.  I need a car.  What a nightmare.

Update:  And the hits keep coming.  In the time it took me to write this and check Facebook, Toby managed to take a cassette tape and pull the tape pretty far.  He came to me dragging the long squiggle of tape behind him.  These are Lionel’s audio cassettes that are kept right where Toby now likes to eat — behind the couch.  Toby’s been in trouble for dismantling the cases before.  I told Lionel to move them already, that partly it was his fault that this problem continued, but he didn’t move them.  He believes, somehow, that Toby should be able to just keep himself from playing with them.  Right.  I didn’t have the patience to get the wily tape back into the cassette, but I did move the audio cassettes en masse.  There will be no more problems.  Score one for mom.  I can’t wait to see how Lionel reacts to his Garbage tape being unraveled.

Lionel’s coming home to collect us so we can pick up the car.  Then I’m supposed to go to the CSA pickup spot, but I think that I may ask Lionel to do it.  I’m too dispirited and don’t want to have to make nice conversation.  Plus Toby likes to play with their son, who is five, but somehow they almost make it work.  I don’t have the patience to deal with the wildness of nitro and glycerin coming together now.

Toby just dragged the backgammon set up the stairs, a pretty impressive feat for how big and heavy it is.  I better go focus on him now.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Merry Christmas to you and yours!


  2. Wait, now that I’ve had a chance to slow down and re-read your post, let me say this.

    1. Hugs for all the frustrations!
    2. Good job with the good-association-practice-times! That takes so much patience and you’re awesome for doing it.
    3. Hope the rest of your break IS merry and bright. You deserve the happies!


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